Okay, to start, most of my friends from ten years ago are married now, moved away, have kids, have lives, etc. The ones that are still around have TONS of drama. So I tend to stick to myself. It sucks, I miss going out with “the crew” but what’m I supposed to do? It’s kinda hard to make new friends at my age. If any of my Facebook friends want to go out and bar hop or whatever, I’m game. But my hangouts closed, the bars moved, the crowd is new, I don’t know, I just feel like a fish out of water. I might have to take a road trip to upstate New York to see a friend of mine if I can ever get financially stable enough to take the time off.

As for the women situation: I was in a relationship on again, off again for the last 7 years. It ended for good in the beginning of September. I guess I’m just a little shocked how it ended and a lot sad. Shit happens, right? Fall off the horse, get back on again? This was someone I considered to be my best friend. She has an awesome family, and I just miss everything about her. I can’t imagine replacing her right now. I don’t even want to. I just need some time. I’d date, I suppose, but she was the specific kind of everything I want in a person so whoever I meet has some high standards to meet. I tried a few months ago, and I suppose I had fun, but secretly I was thinking about my ex. So right now I’m alone. My shit is totally not together anyway. What the hell am I supposed to offer someone new if I meet them? Good conversation is about all I can afford and most women I know are looking for a lot more than a good guy with a good heart. I’ve even noticed a lot of them would rather be with a complete asshole that treats them bad as long as they have some sort of financial security than someone like me that would treat them as good as I can but don’t have much in the way of means. So I’m waiting. I’ll get back to where I was before, I’m just not there right now.

The Driver (Adam Smith)

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