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Asshole Neighbors

This isn’t about delivering, but I had to blog about it. I’ve been having problems with my downstairs neighbors from almost day 1 when I moved in two years ago. The first incident, I had a few friends over on a Friday night to celebrate the new apartment, and yes, we were being loud pretty late, but it was Friday and all. The neighbor came upstairs pounding on the door screaming he was trying to sleep and tried to start a fight. That happened a second time as well. Both times he apologized for being a dick. I didn’t accept it either time, since he, and his family are dicks. Then one day he comes upstairs pounding on the door because there’s a leak in the ceiling and water is dripping down. He wants to fight because “how could I not know?” umm, because it’s in the ceiling downstairs which is under my floor, that’s how asstard. He later apologizes for that one, too, but he got in a shoving match with me before his brother stopped him.
Then there was the time in the summer I had been drinking a little and was asleep when his brother decides to start trouble. Apparently my car was on the street where he likes to park. He tells my roommate to wake me up to move my car so he can have his favorite spot on the public street. I go down, the two of them start shoving and grabbing at me, I eventually move and the bitch gets his parking spot. The landlord later quashed that when I said if the bullshit kept happening I would call the cops. The next incident, the same brother decides to park across my car blocking me in my spot so I can’t leave. I leave a nasty note and again tell the landlord.
Then there was the July 4th issue last year. I was lighting sparklers on the porch when the first brother comes home, runs up the porch screaming I could start a fire and his kids could burn to death. His kids weren’t home I pointed out. He doesn’t care, nor does he care that I have a fire extinguisher with me just in case, and starts shoving me. I tell him to stop or I would call the cops, he grabs my sparklers shoves me again and I go inside and call the cops. They come, listen to both our stories, tell him he’s lying, and document it just like that. They ask if I want him arrested, I say no, just a report so if it continues I can do something (I’d be pretty rude to get him arrested on July 4th). The cop tells him he’s lucky, I could have had him arrested and to leave me alone. The next day he sees me on the porch smoking a cigarette and asks what I’m looking at. I reply that I was out there first already looking in that direction, and what was he looking at. He starts towards me saying “What’s that White boy?” His brother stops him. I yell back “Why’s it gotta be about race?” Oh yeah, they’re all Black or half Black and hate Whites for some dumb reason.
It was quiet for a while until recently when I noticed the brother parking in our off street spot. I didn’t say anything a few times, reasoning I just don’t want to play that game with them. Let me be the bigger man, right? Life will give them enough lemons and they’ll deserve it, right? Fucking karma seems to perpetually reward complete assholes while fucking those of us with restraint over. I come back tonight and the second brother is parked so close to the middle of two driveways I have to park down the street. He has been asked by the landlord to make room for two cars to park there and he doesn’t. I fucking hate him. I seriously do. The whole lot of them. Husband, wife, brother, the kids, they all suck. And they make a shitload of noise starting at 4am with getting ready for work/school then going in and out and in and out, slamming the doors the whole time. Then they have the gall to ask us to be quiet. Fuck those fucking fuckers.

The Driver (Adam Smith)

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“Kick Rocks” Pizza Delivery Nightmares by Adam Smith is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

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