Just another WordPress site

MY friend killed himself 8 years ago, and I still miss him.

It was someone that was my best friend for many years. We met in 1992, hung out almost daily, lived together twice, but eventually grew apart around 2009. I reached out, and we started hanging out again, but he was bad news. We both had a troubled past, but where I grew and changed, he got worse. More into drugs, more into negative thoughts, and he wound up jealous of the girl I was dating. I had been with her for 6 years when in 2011 he said something that was the final straw.
Over the years my few other good friends asked why I was still friends with him. This was a guy who had burned me many times over the years, but I always made up with him. He didn’t deserve it for the things he did (like getting a different girl I was dating high then hooking up with her while I was sleeping), he was just not the kind of person you would want as a close friend. I can’t explain why, but we were anyway. We just “clicked”. Anyway, that last straw in 2011 he said, literally, “Maybe if you spent less time with your bitch, you’d have more time to hang out with me”. He meant it to be disrespectful. I don’t talk about women like that, and this was a girl I was deeply committed to. So I cut him off. I told him it was the last straw, and that I was done.
3 years ago, after my cat of 14 years died and I was feeling particularly devastated, I decided to do some digging on FB to see what he was up to. I had planned to reach out. The last posts I saw from him were from 2013. As soon as I saw that I got that feeling in my stomach. So I googled his name hoping I wasn’t right. But I was. I contacted his father who he wasn’t close to, but he told me on FB that my friend was very depressed, and they were all sad about it, etc. He was kind of dismissive, so I’m not sure. He also told me a year after my friend killed himself his son killed himself, and his former girlfriend. I guess bad things really do travel in threes.
So he had been dead for 5 years when I found out, and to this very day, to this very minute, I am convinced had I not written him off he’d still be here. He didn’t have any other good friends, just acquaintances. Or dealers, etc. He rarely saw his mother, and in the entire time I knew him saw his father once. To top all that off, most of my best memories are also with him. My early 20s were a blast. Even my early 30s when we hung out all the time were pretty amazing. And we both lived in what used to be my favorite city. And now it’s just his ghost shrouding it when I go there. Everything reminds me of him. I cried more for my cat because my cat didn’t choose to die and was there for me every single day: I know it’s weird to some to be that attached to a pet, but I did cry for my friend, too when I found out. I kind of felt like an idiot crying about something that happened 5 years prior, but I had just found out about it. So for me it happened then. I just really miss him.
If one good thing came out of it, I started reaching out to some people who were less than popular I used to see around town to check up on them, even though it’d been years (they’re on my FB friends list). I even started hanging out with one of them. We get coffee on occasion. Because of the pandemic and his kidney problems (he gets dialysis, not idea why specifically, didn’t ask), we haven’t in the last year, but we talk online frequently. I’m determined to try to pay attention going forward, just in case there is anything I can do. I guess I just wanted to know if it’s weird to feel this way years later.

15 Comments

  1. weed gummies

    Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished
    to say that I have truly enjoyed surfing around your blog posts.
    In any case I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again soon!

    Also visit my web blog weed gummies

  2. delta 8 THC gummies

    I have read so many posts about the blogger lovers but this piece of writing is genuinely a
    good article, keep it up.

    My blog :: delta 8 THC gummies

  3. marijuana gumies

    You’re so cool! I don’t believe I’ve read something like that before.
    So wonderful to discover someone with genuine thoughts on this subject.
    Really.. many thanks for starting this up. This website is something that is required on the
    web, someone with a bit of originality!

    My website – marijuana gumies

  4. www.peninsuladailynews.com

    I like the helpful info you provide in your articles.
    I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently.

    I am quite sure I will learn many new stuff right here! Best
    of luck for the next!

    my website; where to find weed (http://www.peninsuladailynews.com)

  5. THC Gummies

    Great blog you have here but I was wondering if you
    knew of any community forums that cover the same topics talked about here?
    I’d really like to be a part of group where I can get responses from other experienced
    individuals that share the same interest. If you have
    any recommendations, please let me know. Kudos!

    Here is my web site: THC Gummies

  6. where to buy weed near me

    I like it when people get together and share thoughts.

    Great website, keep it up!

    Here is my web-site … where to buy weed near me

  7. buy weed

    I do agree with all the ideas you’ve presented to your post.
    They’re very convincing and will certainly work.
    Nonetheless, the posts are very brief for starters. May just you please
    prolong them a bit from subsequent time? Thanks for the post.

    My page; buy weed

  8. buy weed

    There’s certainly a great deal to learn about this issue. I really like all the points you
    have made.

    my web page – buy weed

  9. best delta 8 gummies

    Hello! I simply want to give you a big thumbs up for the excellent information you have got right here on this post.
    I’ll be coming back to your website for more soon.

    Feel free to visit my webpage best delta 8 gummies

  10. how to buy weed online

    each time i used to read smaller articles or reviews that
    as well clear their motive, and that is also happening with this
    paragraph which I am reading here.

    Also visit my web-site :: how to buy weed online

  11. juneauempire.com

    I got this web site from my friend who shared with me on the topic of this
    site and now this time I am visiting this web page and reading very
    informative posts at this place.

    My web page … buy weed online (juneauempire.com)

  12. Bryan

    Hello, i feel that i saw you visited my website so i came to return the
    desire?.I am attempting to in finding issues to improve my
    website!I assume its ok to make use of some of your ideas!!

    my blog post … US Magazine, Bryan,

  13. delta 8 gummies hangover

    Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point.
    You definitely know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just
    posting videos to your site when you could be giving us
    something enlightening to read?

  14. buy vets insurance online coverage for dogs

    A great post without any doubt.

  15. luna

    thankyou for your post visit us to see article about anything

Leave a Reply to juneauempire.com Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

© 2023 Tip The Driver

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑