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Race shouldn’t matter when dating.

Isn’t it possible that some White people just accept anyone that’s interesting to them regardless of the color of their skin? I feel like I’m being put into a box suggesting I should maybe stick to my own race. OBVIOUSLY, you can see the color of the person you’re with, but if you’re not a racist, and it’s not a fetish, and you see no more value in a White person than anyone else, why limit yourself to your own race? My wife likes White guys. I like Hispanic women. We’re really hap together and race has never been an issue in the 8 years we’ve been married. I’ve dated Black girls, Asian girls, Middle Eastern girls: yes, Muslims included, Jewish girls, Native American women, and, obviously, Hispanic women. The majority of the women I have dated were White. But the longest relationships I had were with Hispanic women. It wasn’t by design, it just worked out that way. I was as happy with the White girls as anyone else: at the time. I am attracted to the Latin culture and I make no apologies for that. It’s not a feti9sh. I’ve always just been really into their music, their art, their theater, their architecture, and everything else. Yes, I think the women are exotic. So? I’ve always like brunettes whether they’re White, Hispanic, whatever race. I like darker skin, dark eyes, dark hair. It’s just a look that I really like. If I were single, I wouldn’t be looking for someone Hispanic, Black, Asian, or whatever, I’d be looking for someone with the characteristics that appeal to me AND who is interesting and kind. The packaging doesn’t matter if the inside is rotten. I think sometimes people read too much into these things. People like who they like.

That being said, I have dated girls over the years that were White that said I was the first White guy they’d been with, that they only date Black guys. And I’m like, “How is that possible?” How can you exclude every other race? That I have a problem with. I’ve been with Black girls who said the same thing: they only like White guys. Again, how is that possible? You have no basis of comparison. How do you know you only like White or Black if you’ve only been with one group? THAT seems racist. Even if it’s your own race, because I know people like that, too, that think the races shouldn’t mix. It’s just strange thinking to me. And I was raised in a conservative household with a moderately racist father that I still don’t think gets how what he says is racist. I spent most of my life living in the inner city, New Haven, CT for 20 years, and Bridgeport for 7. But I grew up in the burbs. I just moved back to the city as soon as high school was over because I hate homogenous. It makes me really uncomfortable. And I in no way feel guilty for what the other guy did, I’m not trying to make up for the past that I didn’t live, I just do my best to not be part of the problem, and to be an active part of the solution. Not by dating, in daily life, I mean. Simple things like treating everyone with the same amount of respect, lobbying my representatives for change, taking part in the discussions, and so forth.

As for dating, I haven’t found any explicit advantage to dating anyone of any race, my own included. I don’t think Black girls or Hispanic girls or anyone else are better in bed, or anything like that. I don’t feel like it gives me access to anything I didn’t have access to before. I just like who I like. My wife, on the other hand, would say there are advantages to being with me, but she’s being more tongue-in-cheek when she says it than being serious. I’m sure there are some advantages, and I’m fine with that, although it’s sad commentary on the world we live in. Everyone should be the same. And eventually we will be. Race is disappearing in this country, and eventually it will in the whole world. Wouldn’t that be nice, to all just be: people?

I just got banned on TWO LGBTQ reddits and reported on one. What the fuck.

I was asking in two of the LGBTQ pages about the states and their Trans ban for sports. I wasn’t trying to be hateful or anything, just asking how it’s fair for people not post-surgery or on hormone therapy to compete against women in high school sports. It just seems like there’s a huge advantage there. Anyway, that’s apparently what some people called hateful. I got reported for inciting hate. It’s not inciting hate. It’s called asking questions, but everyone is so fucking sensitive nowadays no one can ask anything.
 
If you ask about gender, you’re at best a sexist, at worst a bigot. If you ask about race, you’re just a racist. If you ask about religion, you’re a bigot. No one can talk about anything, but then we’re all supposed to care about the issues: without any explanation why something’s wrong. We’re supposed to just accept what other people say with no explanations, we’re not allowed to have our own feelings on the topics: what the fuck.
 
Some people can have questions and not be bigots. I understand that when you ask how it’s fair it implies that they’re not the same as women or girls born biologically female, but here’s the thing: they’re not. I’m not saying they should be treated differently, but there are cases where they should be. Which is why the Olympics requires that they have the hormone therapy so they don’t have an unfair advantage in strength. I think it’s ultra-far Left to say, “No, they’re the same, nothing should be required.” If they’re exactly the same with no differences at all, how come they can’t get pregnant? And people will use the excuse that a lot of women can’t have children, but in those cases it’s when they have something wrong like a disease or had to have a hysterectomy, or something like that. It’s not usually just because they can’t. And men and women have different chromosomes. Men are XY. Women are not, so there are biological differences. 
 
This reminds me of now how being Transracial is a thing. Yeah, you can be born White and identify as Black and everyone’s supposed to agree you’re Black. And I have a problem with that because they can turn it on and off when it’s convenient. Like they never have to worry about police brutality, and when they apply for jobs, or loans and people see they’re White they’ll get treated that way. But if they identify as being Black they can take advantage of things like scholarships for Blacks like in the movie “Soul Man”. That’s not right. Being Black is a real struggle and no one should be able to identify that way that isn’t Black and pretend they face the same struggles in life. 
 
And I know it’s not the same thing. The Transgender community hates being compared to the Transracial community, but here’s the thing: eventually it will go far Left, and they’ll get told they just have to accept it or they’re bigots, just like we get told if we don’t accept Trans students in sports with no HRT that we’re bigots. And I know from the comments I got that they hate this example, but South Park did an episode on this. I’m going to post a picture, then explain:
 
 
In the episode, the athlete on the left in the picture identified as a woman, so they had to let her compete. Yes, I italicized that on purpose for emphasis. The point was if you simply identify as a woman, these organizations have to recognize your right, as a woman, to compete against other women. Naturally, she destroyed the competition. Eventually Strong Woman and PC Principal both lose their shit because they realize we’ve gone too far to the left, but they’re afraid of upsetting PC babies. South Park is really deep most of the time, and it stuns me that most people don’t get it. People look at the surface and dismiss it, but they have dealt with pretty much every social issue there is. Like words that got canceled, etc. 
 
So, yes, I do think there should be more than just identifying as one gender or the other when it comes to things like competing. And, yeah, I do think we should either have unisex bathrooms or have the people in there have all the same sex organs. I don’t care if you used to be a woman, if you’re post-op and have a penis you can use the Men’s room, and if you used to be a man and now have a vagina you can use the Women’s room. Why is that controversial? Since no one’s allowed to ask, you could find yourself in a dressing room at a pool or something when what appear to be a man is in there getting undressed with everyone else, and because you’re not allowed to ask questions you just have to assume they’re Trans. You really can’t see how someone could take advantage of that? I’m not saying for a second anyone Trans would do anything shady like use that to get in a different dressing room, but plenty of heterosexual men would if they knew no one was allowed to ask any questions. What if it’s a Heterosexual Cis pedophile? We have to wait till after they commit a crime to ask any questions? That doesn’t seem right. 
 
My solution for the bathroom situation was deemed hateful, too. Here it is: we make all bathrooms unisex. We make all locker rooms unisex. Then we teach children, and adults, that the human body is not shameful and comes in many different sizes and shapes. But it was deemed hateful because the Trans community, apparently, wants to force people to just accept them and accept what thy do with no questions asked. Which means Trans women with penises in the Women’s locker room. Or vice versa. Sorry, but that’s going to cause problems. The cool thing about my personal web page is I can ask questions and post ideas. I am not in any way saying to not respect them or give them less rights, or to hate on them in any way. But some situations, more thought needs to happen. Not every situation is the same. If we have to accept their rights and pinions they should have to respect ours, too. Equality doesn’t mean you get the superior position. It means you get an equal position. Equal in every way. So if you have an unfair advantage, it needs to be adjusted. If you’re trying to force your beliefs on others, it needs to be adjusted. 
 
Dating is yet another area where I’ve heard some things that don’t make sense to me. Being accepted as people doesn’t mean Hetero Cis men are required to date you. I and no one else is a bigot because we want to date women who were born biologically female. And how would we know? Some of us would. If you’re open to it: fine, but it shouldn’t be a requirement for you to be equal that men have to date you, or vice versa. I knew a pro-op girl years ago who used to pick up men, and not tell them, an assume they must be okay with it. It never ended well for her, but she refused to tell them, and the same bad things kept happening. I think you should tell people. My opinion, but if a guy is hooking up with you and reaches down expecting to find a vagina and winds up with a penis in his hand, yeah, some men are going to be pissed. Some Trans women never get the operation. So that need to be addressed ahead of time,. You can’t expect a man to be okay with not having a vagina when they’re looking for a woman with a vagina. Why is this controversial? Go look for men that are cool with it. Stop trying to force every man to be cool with it. I prefer women who were born with vaginas. I’m not apologizing for that. No one should have to.
 
This shit is how Republicans are born. You push people too far to the Left and they snap and go the other way, to the far Right. That’s not what you want, and it shouldn’t be all or nothing. There should be common ground. I always wondered what would happen if a Trans man who didn’t say anything would up with a Trans woman who didn’t say anything: there’s no one to force to accept you in that situation, so would they lose interest? It really feels that way a little. I’ve even heard Gay men say to me, “How do you know you don’t like men if you don’t try?” Umm, because I’m not sexually attracted to men. I’m not anti-Gay, I just don’t think I need to let a guy have sex with me to prove that. I don’t prove I’m not anti-hammer by hitting my finger with a hammer: I know it’s not what I want. And I’ve even had Gay men say to me, “I could have you if I wanted”. Umm, no you couldn’t. As hot as you think you are: not gonna happen. Now, can I tell you if a man is attractive in general? Sure, I can do that. I don’t have to be attracted to them, personally to say something like, and my wife will love this if she ever reads it, that Dr. Mike from YouTube is a good-looking guy. I’d have to be blind to not recognize things like that. But my penis isn’t interested. And then some people will say stupid shit like, “What if a man offered you a million dollars to have sex with them”. Umm, probably take the money and go to my happy place, and do what I needed to for the million dollars. But that’s not being Gay, that’s being open to being rich. Well, not even rich nowadays, but with enough money to buy a house, start a business, and have a bunch left over invested. But it’s just a silly “what if”. 
 
So, to sum up: no, I am not against any community. Yes, I do think we need to have discussions on what’s fair and what isn’t. No, I don’t think asking or having opinions makes people bigots, or sexist, or racist, or whatever label you want to use. It’s not Transphobic to ask questions. Transphobic would be saying things like they shouldn’t be allowed to get married, or get jobs, or apartments, or whatever. It’s not asking why it’s okay for someone with a penis to be in the woman’s locker room, or how is it fair for someone biologically male, not on HRT to compete against biological females. And when people ask questions, you can give answers, and explain your position. That’s how people learn. 

Lots of changes

So, since we last spoke, I did move. I moved to Stamford. Yaaaayyy!!! I’ve been working there for over a year now and driving back and forth from Bridgeport really sucked. Sure, it was only half an hour away, but still. I had to spend like $20 a day on gas to work out there. Why didn’t I get a job closer you ask? I tried. I looked everywhere near me, but the only thing I found were places like McD’s. No thanks. My last apartment was terrible. I hated it, my cats hated it, and living with those two losers was horrible. Worst 2 months of my life. I found a place right on the harbor in a good area less than a minute from work for $1250. It’s kind of pricey, but it’s carpeted, has two little balconies, it’s big inside, and in a really solid building that looks like it could take a direct hit from an EF-5 and still be standing. My cats love it, I love it, and I think my girlfriend loves it. Oh, did I not mention that? I have a sweetie. It’s official: I’m taken 😛
It’s been so long I don’t know what to write. The hours went down a little at this place, I work 12 to 2 then 5 to 10 6 days a week now. Sooooo my pay went down a little, too. I was making like $730 a week those first two weeks, but now I’d say I’m down to about $600 or so. Maybe a little less. It depends. Some nights suck, but it’s new, I’m being patient. A new round of ads is coming out next week or the week after wit a bunch of specials for delivery only, so maybe that’ll help. I’m trying to get the dog-walking thing going during the day again. It didn’t really work out last time, but there’s plenty of places near here to get a few customers. I did a website: http://www.iwalkdogs.net If I get ONE customer a day every day I’ll make like $450 minimum, $750 max a month just from that one dog. It’d depend on the type of walk they selected. Anyway, I’m hopefull, but I need to do more with the site and marketing.
Aaaanddd, I’m still doing college classes. Four of them. I’m way behind. As a matter of fact, that’s what I was doing before I started to write this, so let me get back to it. Oh, yeah, still working on the book. Not really. I need to write it. The easiest part of the process has me stalled. That just figures, right?

The Driver (Adam Smith)

© Adam Smith and drivershout.wordpress.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Adam Smith and drivershout.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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I did move. But I want to move again.

The place where I moved is barely acceptable. It was cheap and in a good area, but I literally have an 8×8 room. I have a queen size bed, so guess how much room I have to move around? Next to none. Plus, one of the roommates seems to be allergic to water and rarely bathes. The other one’s allergic to doing dishes or cleaning so we have ants and flies. My cats seem happy enough, but I want to move by the end of summer, hopefully to Stamford. I have a cutie coming from Peru and I need to have a new place so she has somewhere nice to spend time with me. I’m still working at the same place, and have a bit more hours. Still trying to get the book written and work on the doggie daycare idea (a pizza place is too much to start right now). And I also bought a new website to blog from: www.hastalapizza.net so look for my rants there, too.

The Driver (Adam Smith)

© Adam Smith and drivershout.wordpress.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Adam Smith and drivershout.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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“Kick Rocks” Pizza Delivery Nightmares by Adam Smith is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

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Haters on the Right need to stop deleting me on Facebook.

One of the things that amazes me more than anything is when people make comments to me about me being opinionated. I’m usually like, “Gee, ya think?” I am the most opinionated person I know. As a matter of fact, I might just be the most opinionated person in the world. But everyone that knows me should know that by now. I’ve always known there are two ways people think about me: they either like the way I am, or they can’t stand me. There aren’t any people in my crowd that you can ask and have them say something like, “Adam? He’s okay.” Never. It’s either one way or the other. And I like it that way. I don’t have to pretend to be someone else, and the people that like me get a kick out of my rants. Plus, they’re usually like me to some extent, too. I have friends that are republicans. I know, weird, right? I have friends that are in the middle. And most of my friends are on the left. Usually it’s not a problem. I had a very good friend of 20 something years decide he couldn’t be friends with me a few months ago (Mr. Mitchell). He’d make comments about Obama doing this or that then get offended when I asked him to back it up with facts. People who were “experts” told him, and he wanted that to be enough for me. Like when he said Obama’s changes were going to cost him $2,000 because the child tax credit was going away. Total bullshit. I explained that the child tax credit was never $2,000 so that was impossible, but he said 3 expert accountants told him it was. I said it was $500 before Bush took office. Bush doubled it. IF we went over the fiscal cliff, it would have reverted back to $500. Meaning the MOST he could have lost was $500. But we didn’t go over and his accountants were all around wrong. When pressed he said they told him Obama was costing him $2,000 in other ways. I said what ways, and he got pissed again like he shouldn’t have to tell me. Sorry, I live in a world of facts, not conjecture. Like when he said everyone was losing their jobs over Obamacare and about the death panels and everything else and claimed to have read all 13,000 pages of it. Eventually he got tired of not wanting to explain a single fact to me and said we couldn’t be friends any more. As opposed to just not talking about politics. Look, I have Muslim friends. I have Pagan friends. Some friends are Jews, some are Christian, some don’t give a shit. Guess what we don’t talk about. Yeah, God. It’s not a good topic. Neither is politics. But this guy can’t look back and say I wasn’t always there for him when he needed me. I’m an awesome friend that goes out of his way for his friends. So I get shit on for it a lot. Especially by people on the right who think political party is more important than friendship.
When you get a chance, look at the posts of your republican friends and look at the posts of democrat friends. Notice a difference? Democrats post about hopeful change for a better world that includes all people. Republicans post about giving more money to the rich, executing people, kicking out illegals, and guns. Their posts are all about what’s wrong with this country and how they want the good ole days back when Blacks were slaves, women were in the kitchen, and Christianity was the only religion allowed. It’s pathetic. You can present them with facts like how the US ranks toward the bottom in health care and education, but towards the top for gun violence and obesity and they’re proud of those facts. Then they call you socialist if you want America to look like Japan or Canada. God forbid we have a country that has 11 murders instead of the 13,000 we have. Their lives are so fucking depressing and the only thing that cheers me up is the country is changing rapidly becoming more liberal and less White. I’m embarrassed of these jackasses that claim to represent the White race. I want nothing to do with people that would oppress anyone for any reason.
And so every time I make a comment like I did tonight about the shooting near Boston, I lose a friend on FB. All I said was what the fuck is going on in Boston and someone blocked me. Earlier I said people that blame Obama for the fire in Texas are idiots and someone else blocked me. Seriously, these people are stupid. They point out the Jesse Ventura videos as proof the government is building secret prisons to incarcerate all of America. Even though that makes ZERO sense. A military of a few millions is going to incarcerate 320,000,000 people? Then what? Run the country themselves??? How? That’s not enough people to run a country and defend it and guard all these prisoners. It’s just stupid. We all know the government is a little dirty, but they’re not evil. They’re not plotting against citizens, and let me tell: if they were, your AR-15 isn’t going to stop drone strikes or Apache helicopters, or nukes so stop trying to use that as an excuse for why you need them.
It just saddens me people are so sensitive about things that don’t matter and could give a shit about the things that do. I have a friend who on the surface looks like he’s the polar opposite of me (Chris). And yet we get along like brothers. Know why? Because for the most part at the end of the day that other shit doesn’t matter enough to either of us to get upset about what the other thinks. That’s how it should be: friends should come first, opinions should come last.

The Driver (Adam Smith)

© Adam Smith and drivershout.wordpress.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Adam Smith and drivershout.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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“Kick Rocks” Pizza Delivery Nightmares by Adam Smith is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

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Haters on other sites need to stop lying about me online.

First of all, anything you write about my past is just that: my past. I’m not going to get into it here on my own blog, but nothing in my past has anything to do with any job let alone delivering pizza or owning a pizza place. And if you try to post any of that crap on my blog you should know this blog is moderated by me, so any personal information will be deleted. Feel free to post it on your own site, but I pay for this one.

Here are a few things I will dispel for anyone that read some drivel like at gregspages: Contrary to what Greg and a few other people posted, I did NOT mistreat my employees. Some people said I paid less than minimum wage. Yeah, that’s true, but they had the OPTION of being 1099 employees or getting a paycheck. They CHOSE to be cash employees and I paid them $8 an hour (someone idiot said $7) which is a lot more than they would have taken home had they taken a check. Someone said I didn’t give them mileage reimbursement. That’s also complete bullshit. I paid them $1 a delivery, even if it was across the street. I didn’t have to use the IRS rate since they were independent contractors that made their own hours. Had I used it they would have gotten a lot less considering all the runs were close. Take 3 runs in a mile radius and wind up with maybe 1 mile logged that’s like $1.50. Or you could have the $3 I gave for 3 runs. Use your brains people. These same idiots said I mistreated drivers. Bullshit. They had two things to do when there were no runs: make boxes and sweep and mop once at the end of the night. If you call that abuse I call you a dick. It was part of their contracted job. Ask any waitress if they get to do nothing when there’s no customers. Nope. I had two work stations with internet access and they and the phone girls could watch video, play games, use the internet, whatever if there wasn’t any work. My cook started at $10 an hour and my pizza guy at $13. REAL abusive, right? Everyone made their own schedule. I never once told anyone when they had to work. They told me when they wanted to work and I put them down. Know any jobs like that? They also got off whatever days they needed, I never had drivers on snowy days at all, and they could call out sick without fear of getting fired. One guy played guitar in the store, and also took the occasional nap in the back. I’m evil, I know. Oh, and everyone got free food and drinks all the time. It didn’t matter if you worked 4 hours or 10. Yeah, I did fire three people. One for getting high while he did deliveries, one for flat out refusing to work at all while he was there, and one who stopped showing up. That’s hardly abuse.

Someone said I publicly stated that I was evading taxes. Another blatant lie. Just because you print it doesn’t mean it’s true. I can back up what I’m saying, can you? I mean you’d think there’d be some sort of record if you thought you had proof. I paid sales taxes, payroll taxes, unemployment taxes, and income taxes. That’s something else: someone said I wasn’t paying insurance. Where do you idiots get this? I paid over $600 a month for my business insurance which covered drivers, employees, the business itself, and disability. You DO know you need all this to open legally, right? I also had a food service license, and passed all my inspections. I was even a member of the Chamber of Commerce. Feel free to look up whatever of that’s public record. The place was called Semper Pie Pizza in Wallingford. And yeah, I closed, I made a lot of mistakes, but it wasn’t from treating employees badly or not paying insurance or any of that. I made some very poor choices with things like spending. Lesson learned. But at least I had the balls to ante up and give it a shot and am in the process of starting another business in a few months. How many of you haters have gotten out from behind that keyboard and tried running your own business? None of you? Okay then, shut the fuck up.

P.S. If you actually take the time to cyber-stalk me like Greg said he was going to do from his page, there’s more than a few things wrong with you. First of all, if you have nothing better to do than follow someone else around online, that’s just sad. Second, if you actually think that you know my email addresses, you don’t, you just happen to know some of the public ones. Third, if you actually think you can somehow get people or women to shun me like a leper, you need real help. I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess you have problems in the bedroom or you’re really ugly, or have some sort of disability and this is how you let the world know you’re pissed at it. If none of that’s true, you’re just a sad, sad individual that really needs to get a life and stop looking towards others to feel like you have one. Know how many people I follow around the internet? None. Know how stupid it is to think you can actually ruin a person’s life online? Very. Aside from all of that, I never did anything to any of you personally so this “vendetta” you have is just silly. You have to be republicans. Only republicans do this sort of this: latch onto people they don’t like and run with it. Like how every right-winger in CT hangs onto one stupid thing Blumenthal said years ago and just will not let it go even though their former Fuhrer himself said he served in Vietnam when he was AWOL the whole time. You ever hear us harping on that stuff? Nope. But people here take it personally, like they REALLY don’t like him as a person and they smear him online as much as possible years later. And years later some of you idiots are STILL following me around online. What’s it been 6 years now? You don’t see how that’s obsessive childish bullshit that you need help with? Imagine if you knew someone that told you that was happening to them: wouldn’t you think the other person was a psycho? And what have I done that the majority of your republican leaders haven’t? I haven’t done half the stuff they have and you love them. And you’re still all fixated on the past. I guess this is why the republican party keeps losing voters: they look backwards while everyone else looks ahead.
The scary thing is you might wake up one day, realize you’re 75 years old and still stalking people online. The thing you’re really mad at is a different opinion. Yeah, I don’t agree with you. That’s what got all this started on TTPG: I didn’t agree with what the elitists said so they had to make it their mission in life to try to destroy me. It hasn’t worked and to my knowledge not one of my real life friends have ever read a single word you guys said. But the elitists believe things like pizza delivery guys should have no side work, no signs on their cars, no uniforms, should be allowed to carry guns, should have whatever they want, as cushy a job as possible and be paid $30 an hour for it, fuck you that’s just stupid. You go open your own pizza place with your own money and get back to us on how much you go out of your way to sink all your profits into a driver instead of just paying them fairly and treating them well. The pizza driver doesn’t make the business. Sorry. A place could just not deliver and those people wouldn’t have a job. I mean if you’re too much of a snob to fold boxes, you probably shouldn’t be working. Business owners don’t go into business wondering how rich they can make their employees for the least amount of work. That’s just dumb. You go into business to succeed. Part of that is having successful employees, but none of that’s pissing away your entire investment to make sure they reap all the benefits and you get none. When employees are offered private stock and want to pay the owner some of his investment back in exchange for profits THEN they’re entitled to more than what’s fair. Not before that you self-righteous assholes. I dare you to find a place that paid as well as I did and was as relaxed as my place was. You wont find any, and I remember people posting how they thought the businesses should provide cars and still offer mileage. Stuff that’s complete nonsense. Why would a business insure, and fuel a car, provide it to you at work then give you gas and mileage money on top of pay when you’re not maintaining the car in any way? That’s just dumb. And $30 an hour? Get real. Comments like that I’ll disagree with all day long. But again, let’s see you open a place and hire drivers, pay them well over $10 an hour plus the IRS mileage rate, and have them do absolutely nothing at work but take deliveries. Until you actually do that you need to shut up about what you expect.
If I had to do it again I’d offer limited delivery and do them myself. I am the fastest driver in any town. This way no drivers would have to be taken advantage of by getting a higher wage than anyone else paid with all the tedious work like folding the occasional box and I’d save money in every area. Because that’s better, right? Better to not employ someone than have them sweep and mop at the end of the night. You guys are complete assholes if you think so and also have no clue as to how to run a restaurant. You need to google “side-work”, you need to get help with your stalking issues, and you need to get a life.

The Driver (Adam Smith)

© Adam Smith and drivershout.wordpress.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Adam Smith and drivershout.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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A note about my relationships, with girls, with people, etc

Okay, to start, most of my friends from ten years ago are married now, moved away, have kids, have lives, etc. The ones that are still around have TONS of drama. So I tend to stick to myself. It sucks, I miss going out with “the crew” but what’m I supposed to do? It’s kinda hard to make new friends at my age. If any of my Facebook friends want to go out and bar hop or whatever, I’m game. But my hangouts closed, the bars moved, the crowd is new, I don’t know, I just feel like a fish out of water. I might have to take a road trip to upstate New York to see a friend of mine if I can ever get financially stable enough to take the time off.

As for the women situation: I was in a relationship on again, off again for the last 7 years. It ended for good in the beginning of September. I guess I’m just a little shocked how it ended and a lot sad. Shit happens, right? Fall off the horse, get back on again? This was someone I considered to be my best friend. She has an awesome family, and I just miss everything about her. I can’t imagine replacing her right now. I don’t even want to. I just need some time. I’d date, I suppose, but she was the specific kind of everything I want in a person so whoever I meet has some high standards to meet. I tried a few months ago, and I suppose I had fun, but secretly I was thinking about my ex. So right now I’m alone. My shit is totally not together anyway. What the hell am I supposed to offer someone new if I meet them? Good conversation is about all I can afford and most women I know are looking for a lot more than a good guy with a good heart. I’ve even noticed a lot of them would rather be with a complete asshole that treats them bad as long as they have some sort of financial security than someone like me that would treat them as good as I can but don’t have much in the way of means. So I’m waiting. I’ll get back to where I was before, I’m just not there right now.

The Driver (Adam Smith)

© Adam Smith and drivershout.wordpress.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Adam Smith and drivershout.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Lonely

Response to a webpage on dealing with heartbreak:

That sounds like good advice, except if you know that you had the one person who would love you no matter what, for who you are with your faults, your soul-mate if you will, and then you lose that person, it just hurts. Really badly.

I spent 7 years in an admittedly unhealthy on-again off-again relationship with a girl I loved more than anything or anyone. I’m 39, under-employed and have a past that she was able to look past. I met her when I was 32. She was a lot younger. She was the most fun person I have ever been with, yet somehow I managed to not give her what she needed the most: my heart.

We had good times, and even great times, but the bad times were really bad. We argued about everything that didn’t matter, and while I wont excuse the ones she started, I could have avoided all of them.

So now she found someone else. And she’s happy and I know I should be happy for her, but I’m not. I want her to love me. I want her to be with me. I want to not hurt any more. My heart aches. I am trying my hardest to distract myself from thinking about her, but how can I really? This isn’t just a relationship gone wrong: this is THE relationship gone wrong.

And she has so many great qualities I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from holding anyone else to. Like how smart she is. She is literally the smartest person I’ve ever met in my life. She’s funny, and playful, and kind to the children in her family. She loves dogs and has the best Beagle in the world. She’s very attractive with beautiful eyes that haunt my mind while I write this. It just feels like it’s hard to breathe when she’s not around me.

We used to have fights and make up a few days later. There were even a few times where we saw other people and still talked. Honestly, as much as it hurts that I’m not the one making her happy, I could deal with it a lot better if we were still friends, but I can’t even have that. She flat out refuses to say word one to me. None of our fights were anything of significance, but the amount of dumb fights just hit the critical point, I guess.

To top it all off: we live a block away from each other. Not even. She’s literally two buildings away from me. I can kind of see her building if I look out my window. I just really miss my best friend. I miss how much fun we had when we had it. My food, even my life has no flavor right now. I get stress headaches every day which sometimes trigger my migraines, I can’t sleep, I don’t want to go out; it’s like a piece of me died when she stopped talking to me.

They say time heals all wounds, but I honestly don’t want time to heal it. I want her to. I miss her, and I love her.

The Driver (Adam Smith)

© Adam Smith and drivershout.wordpress.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Adam Smith and drivershout.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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