By “some” people, I’m referring to myself as the fully-recovered. In high school I wasn’t interested in drugs, and only had alcohol a few times over friend’s houses, and to be honest, being 13 and drunk on whatever was laying around and trying to hide it from your parents when you get home is no fun. Literally only happened like twice before I turned 18. In college, I went the other way. I actually wound up in the hospital from alcohol poisoning my first semester of college. 1.75 liters of Vodka. The doctor at the time said I shouldn’t be alive. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that, all the barfing, or the guy next to me, also strapped down saying, “Nurse, can I get a glass of water?” all night. My BAC was .8 Yeah, no zero next to that: point eight. Anyway, it was a few months before I could drink again, and 30+ years later the smell of Vodka still makes me sick. A few years later, around 94, my friends were determined to get me to try weed, but I was never interested. Till a friend of mine that had been away a few months came back. I finally said yes. Once I did that, I was like, “May as well try it all”. Next was LSD, and shrooms, weed with crystal on it, Special K, Ecstasy, Opium, Coke, and pretty much every pill anyone ever passed to me. I did it all. Except needles. I never got hooked, until a guy a roommate and I knew came over with a bundle of rocks. A bundle then was like 30 or so. What started out as a fun night wound up being a $30,000 a month habit for several months where we stole everything we could get out hands on, ultimately leading to my winding up incarcerated for two years for larceny. The roommate I had at the time never got in trouble for that, but his life spiraled and he killed himself in 2013. I didn’t even know, I had stopped talking to him in 2011 after he said something rude about a girl I was dating. I felt terrible when I heard the news, I’m pretty sure I could’ve helped him. I have to live with that. On the fully-recovered part: crack was all I thought about for years. To this very day I still remember the sweet smell and the rush and euphoria from using it. I liked Opium, but I loved crack. Strangely, the soap Lever 2000 smells like Crack to me so I avoid using that soap. It has been 28 years since I touched Cocaine in any form. It just scares me that much. And for court at the time I had to do NA or AA, and while “inside” , of course. I just never felt like what they were saying applied to me. I was addicted to one thing, not everything. Like if you’re hooked on donuts, do you give up pizza? Over the years after I got out in 97, I still had run-ins with the law, I still abused drugs and alcohol, but it eventually got old. I started caring about showing up at work sober and not having to deal with hangovers, I didn’t want to have to deal with getting sick, scoring, or the people associated with any of it. Bars became an empty experience for me: I was just done. It’s now 2022, almost 2023, and I’ve been married for 9 years—No kids yet, although at my age I feel like I missed out, and my 35 year old wife does want them. I still drink, but very rarely. And I have expensive taste now like Macallan 18 for liquor. Too expensive to drink like a kid. I quit smoking cigarettes 3 years ago thanks to my wife constantly bugging me about it. I haven’t smoked weed in like 15 years, and the only time I take any pills now is if they’re prescribed. And I prefer not to. I’ve had my dentist give me Percocet a few times when I had dental work done and I just tossed it in the medicine cabinet. If I needed something I opted for Naproxen. I used to have a friend who was in AA, still is as far as I know, but we’d hang out at a local coffee shop and his AA friends would always assume I’m in AA, and then ask why if I wasn’t I was at a coffee house. It would make my friend laugh, and he’d tell them, “See, that thinking is why you are in AA and he isn’t.” I think AA is good for most of the people in it, but I don’t think everyone is always an addict. I think some people, like myself, were an addict, but time healed us.
Tag: sex (Page 1 of 10)
When I first started this blog back in 2009, I think, it was just a way for me to get my book ideas on “paper” for me to see and read. Then I started blogging about everything. I had quite a bit of traffic at one point, I had over 20,000 unique visitors a month. Now it’s way lower because I post like once every few months. And I have thousands of spam messages on my blog and I’ve tried a few scripts to remove them, but short of deleting all my comments at once, I don’t know how to take care of that.
So, I’ve been kind of depressed lately, I should be working all day, but I’ve been gaming instead. It’s not fair to my wife, and I feel like shit because of it, which makes me more depressed.
Anyway, I will try to post more soon.
August. A lot has happened since then. Not really life-changing, I’ve just been busy with work, and life in general. I’m still working, but I have stopped riding. Back in October my derailleur on my mountain bike broke. It now only shifts between 1-7 and clicks like crazy. If I had a bike stand I could probably fix it, but I don’t want to. I got this bike just to get around when my car got repossessed a few years back. I plan to buy a Trek in the near future and get back out there. The problem now is last time I rode it was kind of warm, October, and now it’s crazy cold in the mornings. It’s not my favorite weather, but I want to get in shape and that means committing to riding in most conditions. Maybe snow days I’ll take off.
In later news, we’re suing our former landlord. We left the place looking nice and in good condition. We had plenty of issues there we didn’t create, but left it looking nice. We asked for the security back sending the letter after we moved, certified and regular mail, it got signed for, and nothing came. We paid rent on time every month for 5 1/2 years, even during the rent moratorium during the pandemic to the tune of almost $115,000. Our security was $1700, but even though she’s the one that didn’t renew our lease, she felt entitled to it. So we’re suing. Wouldn’t you know it, she counter-sues claiming $5,000 in damages when we moved out. So now she’s going to look like a bully in court when she can’t prove any such claim. People suck.
Okay, people: we had more deaths from mass shootings in 4 years of Trump than all 8 under Obama. Stop being lazy about this. Stop saying this is a plot by Democrats to take your guns. We get it: you’re cowards. You’re too scared to go out in public without a gun, and you need to hug your guns to be in your safe space. Message received loud and clear. You know, real bravery isn’t being a chicken-shit, it’s overcoming your fears without needing a crutch to handle it. WE are not afraid of you or your guns. You’re not impressing us. We’re also not afraid of the “bad guys” with guns. Shit happens.
There are zero studies showing toting a gun around with you everywhere makes you safer, but there ARE studies that show you’re more likely to live SHORTER lives. Having a gun you are statistically MORE likely to be involved in road rage incidents, more likely to use the gun in domestic violence, more likely to accidentally shoot yourself, even more likely to have your gun taken and be a victim of that gun.
States with more gun control have less gun deaths. Except Maine. No one can explain Maine. I just assume they are actual responsible gun owners. Just like how every FIRST WORLD country with more gun laws has less gun deaths. Except Switzerland, but, again, they seem to be responsible gun owners.
This country has a bunch of angry people with guns who have them not because they need them, but because they’re angry. They might have a small penis, they might be ugly, they might be short, or fat, or poor, and they hate Democrats, so they get guns because they have Red Dawn delusional fantasies. These same folks publicly post about what they’d like to do with their guns which amounts to murder. They’d love to murder people if they just had the opportunity. Most of these people do not serve in the military or police, but I don’t know, maybe they weren’t good enough and this is their outlet.
If we were to divide the nation and have all the hillbillies take one part and we took the other part and you only had each other to shoot at and could in no way ever threaten a Liberal, or minority, or anyone that didn’t fit the mast race on your side you fools would all get bored of guns.
And here’s the problem with your good guy scenario: in a crowded store you hear gunshots, how do you know who the good guy is and who the bad guy is? Who do you shoot? How do other people know if you’re the good guy or the bad guy? What if they shoot you? What if other people see that and shoot them? And on, and on. Then maybe instead of 10 dead you have 100 dead and no one knows WTF happened. That’s your idea of common sense?
Mine is no guns. Good luck shooting anyone if you have no gun to begin with. Even Reagan knew guns were a ridiculous way to settle differences.
I was asking in two of the LGBTQ pages about the states and their Trans ban for sports. I wasn’t trying to be hateful or anything, just asking how it’s fair for people not post-surgery or on hormone therapy to compete against women in high school sports. It just seems like there’s a huge advantage there. Anyway, that’s apparently what some people called hateful. I got reported for inciting hate. It’s not inciting hate. It’s called asking questions, but everyone is so fucking sensitive nowadays no one can ask anything.
If you ask about gender, you’re at best a sexist, at worst a bigot. If you ask about race, you’re just a racist. If you ask about religion, you’re a bigot. No one can talk about anything, but then we’re all supposed to care about the issues: without any explanation why something’s wrong. We’re supposed to just accept what other people say with no explanations, we’re not allowed to have our own feelings on the topics: what the fuck.
Some people can have questions and not be bigots. I understand that when you ask how it’s fair it implies that they’re not the same as women or girls born biologically female, but here’s the thing: they’re not. I’m not saying they should be treated differently, but there are cases where they should be. Which is why the Olympics requires that they have the hormone therapy so they don’t have an unfair advantage in strength. I think it’s ultra-far Left to say, “No, they’re the same, nothing should be required.” If they’re exactly the same with no differences at all, how come they can’t get pregnant? And people will use the excuse that a lot of women can’t have children, but in those cases it’s when they have something wrong like a disease or had to have a hysterectomy, or something like that. It’s not usually just because they can’t. And men and women have different chromosomes. Men are XY. Women are not, so there are biological differences.
This reminds me of now how being Transracial is a thing. Yeah, you can be born White and identify as Black and everyone’s supposed to agree you’re Black. And I have a problem with that because they can turn it on and off when it’s convenient. Like they never have to worry about police brutality, and when they apply for jobs, or loans and people see they’re White they’ll get treated that way. But if they identify as being Black they can take advantage of things like scholarships for Blacks like in the movie “Soul Man”. That’s not right. Being Black is a real struggle and no one should be able to identify that way that isn’t Black and pretend they face the same struggles in life.
And I know it’s not the same thing. The Transgender community hates being compared to the Transracial community, but here’s the thing: eventually it will go far Left, and they’ll get told they just have to accept it or they’re bigots, just like we get told if we don’t accept Trans students in sports with no HRT that we’re bigots. And I know from the comments I got that they hate this example, but South Park did an episode on this. I’m going to post a picture, then explain:
In the episode, the athlete on the left in the picture identified as a woman, so they had to let her compete. Yes, I italicized that on purpose for emphasis. The point was if you simply identify as a woman, these organizations have to recognize your right, as a woman, to compete against other women. Naturally, she destroyed the competition. Eventually Strong Woman and PC Principal both lose their shit because they realize we’ve gone too far to the left, but they’re afraid of upsetting PC babies. South Park is really deep most of the time, and it stuns me that most people don’t get it. People look at the surface and dismiss it, but they have dealt with pretty much every social issue there is. Like words that got canceled, etc.
So, yes, I do think there should be more than just identifying as one gender or the other when it comes to things like competing. And, yeah, I do think we should either have unisex bathrooms or have the people in there have all the same sex organs. I don’t care if you used to be a woman, if you’re post-op and have a penis you can use the Men’s room, and if you used to be a man and now have a vagina you can use the Women’s room. Why is that controversial? Since no one’s allowed to ask, you could find yourself in a dressing room at a pool or something when what appear to be a man is in there getting undressed with everyone else, and because you’re not allowed to ask questions you just have to assume they’re Trans. You really can’t see how someone could take advantage of that? I’m not saying for a second anyone Trans would do anything shady like use that to get in a different dressing room, but plenty of heterosexual men would if they knew no one was allowed to ask any questions. What if it’s a Heterosexual Cis pedophile? We have to wait till after they commit a crime to ask any questions? That doesn’t seem right.
My solution for the bathroom situation was deemed hateful, too. Here it is: we make all bathrooms unisex. We make all locker rooms unisex. Then we teach children, and adults, that the human body is not shameful and comes in many different sizes and shapes. But it was deemed hateful because the Trans community, apparently, wants to force people to just accept them and accept what thy do with no questions asked. Which means Trans women with penises in the Women’s locker room. Or vice versa. Sorry, but that’s going to cause problems. The cool thing about my personal web page is I can ask questions and post ideas. I am not in any way saying to not respect them or give them less rights, or to hate on them in any way. But some situations, more thought needs to happen. Not every situation is the same. If we have to accept their rights and pinions they should have to respect ours, too. Equality doesn’t mean you get the superior position. It means you get an equal position. Equal in every way. So if you have an unfair advantage, it needs to be adjusted. If you’re trying to force your beliefs on others, it needs to be adjusted.
Dating is yet another area where I’ve heard some things that don’t make sense to me. Being accepted as people doesn’t mean Hetero Cis men are required to date you. I and no one else is a bigot because we want to date women who were born biologically female. And how would we know? Some of us would. If you’re open to it: fine, but it shouldn’t be a requirement for you to be equal that men have to date you, or vice versa. I knew a pro-op girl years ago who used to pick up men, and not tell them, an assume they must be okay with it. It never ended well for her, but she refused to tell them, and the same bad things kept happening. I think you should tell people. My opinion, but if a guy is hooking up with you and reaches down expecting to find a vagina and winds up with a penis in his hand, yeah, some men are going to be pissed. Some Trans women never get the operation. So that need to be addressed ahead of time,. You can’t expect a man to be okay with not having a vagina when they’re looking for a woman with a vagina. Why is this controversial? Go look for men that are cool with it. Stop trying to force every man to be cool with it. I prefer women who were born with vaginas. I’m not apologizing for that. No one should have to.
This shit is how Republicans are born. You push people too far to the Left and they snap and go the other way, to the far Right. That’s not what you want, and it shouldn’t be all or nothing. There should be common ground. I always wondered what would happen if a Trans man who didn’t say anything would up with a Trans woman who didn’t say anything: there’s no one to force to accept you in that situation, so would they lose interest? It really feels that way a little. I’ve even heard Gay men say to me, “How do you know you don’t like men if you don’t try?” Umm, because I’m not sexually attracted to men. I’m not anti-Gay, I just don’t think I need to let a guy have sex with me to prove that. I don’t prove I’m not anti-hammer by hitting my finger with a hammer: I know it’s not what I want. And I’ve even had Gay men say to me, “I could have you if I wanted”. Umm, no you couldn’t. As hot as you think you are: not gonna happen. Now, can I tell you if a man is attractive in general? Sure, I can do that. I don’t have to be attracted to them, personally to say something like, and my wife will love this if she ever reads it, that Dr. Mike from YouTube is a good-looking guy. I’d have to be blind to not recognize things like that. But my penis isn’t interested. And then some people will say stupid shit like, “What if a man offered you a million dollars to have sex with them”. Umm, probably take the money and go to my happy place, and do what I needed to for the million dollars. But that’s not being Gay, that’s being open to being rich. Well, not even rich nowadays, but with enough money to buy a house, start a business, and have a bunch left over invested. But it’s just a silly “what if”.
So, to sum up: no, I am not against any community. Yes, I do think we need to have discussions on what’s fair and what isn’t. No, I don’t think asking or having opinions makes people bigots, or sexist, or racist, or whatever label you want to use. It’s not Transphobic to ask questions. Transphobic would be saying things like they shouldn’t be allowed to get married, or get jobs, or apartments, or whatever. It’s not asking why it’s okay for someone with a penis to be in the woman’s locker room, or how is it fair for someone biologically male, not on HRT to compete against biological females. And when people ask questions, you can give answers, and explain your position. That’s how people learn.
I read a couple article where White female porn stars are told if they won’t shoot with a Black guy they’ll be seen as racist. And then some of them have agents that say if they do they’ll get paid less afterwards. Do you think all interracial porn is inherently racist? That seems racist from both directions, like people aren’t allowed to have preferences, and also who cares what people think if they do it?
The other side of it is the fact that when’s the last time you saw a Black guy in porn that wasn’t hung? I’ve been with more than a few Black girls in my life who have said it is a myth, that the ones out there with huge cocks are the unicorns, just like with every race. So the industry creates a distorted image of what all Black guys are like, the same way they screw over all the Asian men with the ones they pick for those movies. They almost always pick Asian men with smaller penises, which again, on average is a myth. Like how they seem to show all Black women have huge asses: they don’t, that all Latinas are curvy: they’re not, and all White women are automatically part-time Lesbians, apparently. And, again, I know plenty of girls who will tell you their motto is “strictly dickly”.
I feel like aside from the obvious ways porn distorts sexuality, it’s also a little insidious how racist it is whether it’s trying to be or not.
And for those of you who think I must be jealous or something, I’m not. I do fine with what I have. I have never had any complaints from women, except that it’s too big. So, I really wouldn’t want to go bigger, I just think it’s a distorted view of sexuality, and women, who claim it’s men that are obsessed with size, seem to be obsessed with thing like size, hence driving part of this.
“The predicted “blue wave” didn’t happen.”
—That’s only because there are far more batshit-crazy, far-right wanna-be fascists than we counted on. We thought Trump had jumped the shark, but what we learned was there’s no new low that Republicans would say they’ve had enough of. Historically, the country always does better under Democrats. It’s not partisan, you can look it up. Under Democrats less people die of health issues, suicide rates drop, violent crime goes down, contrary to what Republicans think government actually spends less, the people earn more money, education scores rise, but most republicans see things like those are a major problem because our corporate overlords lose control of the people. And pretty much all Republicans care about is the 1%. The ideal Republican world is George Orwell’s “1984”, or possibly Wells’ “Time Machine”, or modern day Russia or North Korea. Of course, I suspect most Republicans never read either of those books, because they’re books and all, and as such “Liberal propaganda”. But if they had their way we’d live under a totalitarian regime. That’s why they say things like the only fair election is one in which they win.
I’m not sure what happened, but one day a few weeks ago I got an email saying my account was permanently deactivated. I appealed the decision and they said I had to submit a photo ID. I didn’t want to do that since I’d used it already to change my name on my backup account. So just for giggles I sent them a meme making fun of Trump. Somehow they knew from that it was me and my account was unlocked like a day later.
One of the first things I did was add my phone number back, then I set up 2FA on the account so this nonsense hopefully never happens again. My backup account is growing nicely, though. Up to like 1200 friends on that one, My original is just shy of 5,000 friends with like 1500 followers.
While Facebook doesn’t owe us anything, they do get a lot of data from us and make it virtually impossible to stop that. Like location. You can disable every location tracking setting and according to at least one article I read tonight, Facebook doesn’t care and tracks you anyway, and uses that data to target you with ads. If all this data is worth money to them, we <i>are</i> worth something to them. I had a Facebook account hacked. Their solution was to leave it active, but remove my phone number, not give me the option to add it back, leaving me with no way to verify who I am (they require a phone number for the sms codes). Filling out the locked accounts form doesn’t work, because it’s not locked. Trusted contacts won’t work, because you can’t add the phone back. Nothing works. 14 years if Facebook killed by a hacker who they give more rights to than rightful account owners. I’ve though about giving it up altogether a few times. My wife says all I do is argue with people on it, but it’s still a way to keep in touch with people you might not have otherwise, and much easier. As for sending nudes, one would think in private messages that would be okay. Hell, years ago I did that and never got banned. I got a few warnings. They’re very ambiguous about their rules. Any article that makes fun of Trump, even written by Time gets flagged as spam. I’ve had pictures flagged that weren’t nude or vulgar in any way. One guy posted a picture of an Oreo getting dunked in milk and was banned for life for posting sexually explicit material, with no way to appeal it. Like what’s that about? I saw the picture: it was an Oreo getting dunked in milk. Nothing weird about it at all, but he lost his account for life because Facebook says it’s too kinky. What they <i>should</i> do for account holders who haven’t violated any rules is monetize support. It’d be a good revenue stream and people would happily pay $20 or more to get a resolution. Some people were smart enough to set up multiple accounts years ago “just in case”. But we shouldn’t have to resort to that just because Facebook is ambiguous, or simply doesn’t care. Hypothetically, if everyone decided they had enough and Billions voluntarily deleted their accounts, where would they be? No one young likes it to begin with. It could wind up going the way of Myspace. Why push people who want to be on it out the door?
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